


Let’s pretend to be pretending

by cryogirl



Category: Rhett & Link
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Girlfriends/No Wives, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:53:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24116821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cryogirl/pseuds/cryogirl
Summary: Rhett and Link can’t resist meeting despite the quarantine rules. When they’re caught by the authorities, Link comes up with a little lie.
Relationships: Rhett McLaughlin/Link Neal
Comments: 50
Kudos: 79





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t intend to make light of the current situation. Be responsible, stay away from others if you can.
> 
> I don’t know if the authorities in the States enforce social distancing the way they do where I live, but for the sake of this fic let’s pretend they do.

They had just wanted to see each other again. Nearly two months of separation, weeks of being hurled up in your own house— was it really too much to ask to see your closest friend for half an hour?

Apparently it was, because not ten minutes after that first, long awaited hug they heard the tinny sound of someone shouting at them through a bullhorn.

“Excuse me! Gentlemen, come over here, please!”

Link saw the police officer at the other end of the otherwise completely empty park first. “Oh, shit!” he groaned and quickly jumped off the bench back they’d sat on to talk for a while. “Shit, it’s the police, Rhett! It’s still illegal to meet up, I told you that we shouldn’t have… They’re gonna arrest us!”

Rhett rolled his eyes as he followed Link in the direction of the officer. “There’s no way he’s gonna arrest us, man! We’re going to get a fine at most.” But it was too late, Link was already worked up to the point where he started chewing his fingernails.

“A fine?! Rhett, these fines get up to five hundred dollars, I don’t wanna lose such an amount of money on nothing! And why won’t that cop take at least five freaking steps towards us, what is this, a walk of shame?” Link was practically running now so Rhett had to jog to catch up with him. The policeman was still standing by his car, watching them from behind a pretty cliché pair of sunglasses.

“You wouldn’t have spent it on ‘nothing’, okay? I’ll happily pay a few bucks if that’s the price for finally seeing you again.” Rhett was only half joking. He’d been looking forward to this day ever since Link had finally agreed to meet up with him, and he couldn’t care less about a fine.

“Ugh, that’s not the point!”

They were still bickering when they reached the end of the park. The police officer scowled at them, his face visible through a plastic mask. He held up his hand to stop them before they stepped into the imaginary eight foot circle around him.

“Sirs, are you aware that you are committing an offence by meeting up like this? I don’t know if you have heard” -he smiled obnoxiously- “but there’s a pandemic going on. The rules, as implemented by our state government, say that you’re not allowed to gather in a public space unless you’re living in the same household; i.e. you’re domestic partners.”

“Um.” Rhett didn’t know what to say since honestly, the second he’d caught sight of Link he had not only forgotten about any quarantine and social distancing rules, all thoughts of any worldwide virus crisis had completely slipped his mind.

“I thought so.” The man reached into his pocket and got his electronic ticket machine out. “That’ll be four hundred and fifty dollars for each of you fellas. Please give me your name and address and—”

“What if we’re domestic partners?” Link blurted out. Rhett whipped his head around to look at him, silently asking his friend ‘what the heck’; but judging by the panic in Link’s eyes this remark surprised him just as much as it surprised Rhett and the officer.

“Excuse me?”

“I said: what if we’re domestic partners? What makes you think that we’re meeting illegally? What if I was just taking my _husband_ out for a walk, officer?” Link gave Rhett a pointed look at the word ‘husband’, begging him to play along.

Rhett had never questioned any of Link’s stupid ideas before; he wouldn’t start now. With his most charming fake smile he slid an arm around his friend, ignoring the way his breath hitched when Link leaned into the touch. “Exactly, officer. I mean you can’t expect us to stay inside all the time, and as you can see there’s no one around we could harm.”

The cop looked uncertain. “Can you prove that you’re married? Anyone could say that, you know.”

Rhett feigned indignation. “Geez, do you want us to play Mr and Mrs for you? It’s not like we carry our marriage license everywhere we go.” He was joking about the Mr and Mrs thing, though he was pretty sure that he would win any game that involved knowing details about Link’s life. Link seemed to like the idea of feeding the cop some info on their ‘marriage’, because he gave Rhett a cocky grin and a pat on the arm around his waist as if to say ‘let me’.

“If you absolutely have to know: we met as children, fell in love instantly but had to fight our way through prejudice and internalised homophobia etc., you know the drill. A few years ago we finally admitted our feelings, married as soon as it was legal… um, what else? Rhett sleeps on the right side of the bed, he’s allergic to lactose, doesn’t like cats and oh, of course, I’m the bottom because I love to feel his big cock inside of my ass when I ride him into nirvana.”

Rhett’s face was on fire and he choked on his own saliva, but Link either didn’t notice or chose to ignore him. He just gave the officer a pleasant smile and asked “Any questions left, officer? Maybe you’d like to hear our wedding vows or our favourite Burger King order?”

Rhett could see that the cop swallowed, his round face was sweaty. He shuffled his feet and Rhett would have laughed at the way the guy obviously avoided their eyes if he hadn’t been so goddamn embarrassed himself. No, not embarrassed; confused, maybe. Or agitated. Sad? Sad, yes. Because the life Link had just dreamed up to get out of a stupid police fine was exactly the life Rhett wished he could have.

He wished he would have said something about his feelings years ago. He wished he could take a walk with Link, live with him during quarantine, he wished he could leave his arm around his waist for ever without having to find an excuse.

He wished he really was his husband.

All of these horrible feelings, carefully bottled up for so long, were bubbling up in Rhett’s chest; brought to the surface by a fucking virus. And Link was oblivious to it all, he was grinning at the policeman and probably thought this was all a lot of fun.

“All right, it’s fine. I believe you.”

Link turned to Rhett, swatting his arm lightly. “See, sweetie? Finally our wedding’s paying off.” He turned back to the cop. “I can tell you, you wouldn’t believe what a simple reception costs these days, I mean the charges for catering alo-”

“Oh god, I can’t take this anymore. Just go, all right? And make sure to take a copy of your marriage license with you next time.” The officer put his machine away and climbed into his car, muttering something about ‘freaking pansies’.

“Really man?” Rhett asked once the police car was gone. He was trying his best to play it cool. “‘Ride his cock into nirvana’?”

Link shrugged. “It worked, didn’t it? I just saved us nine hundred bucks, Rhett. Now come on, I wanna walk around some more before I have to get back to my quarantine lair.” Rhett nodded and went with him, pushing his own thoughts aside as he always did.

They walked and chatted, and they were already outside of the park when Rhett noticed that he still had his arm around Link’s waist.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally intended to be a one shot; however a couple of people wanted more, so here it is.
> 
> Enjoy. :)

Rhett took another sip of his drink while he kept his gaze on the entrance door of the coffee shop. He hadn’t seen Link in two weeks, ever since their meeting in the park. Rhett had tried to avoid his friend for a few days, needing time to sort through the feelings which their little marriage scam had brought to surface.

Now that some of the restaurants and cafes had been reopened though, Link had insisted that they met for a coffee. Of course there were still hygiene conditions imposed on establishments; Rhett had been seated at a table eight foot away from all the other tables, and he’d been asked to wear a mask should he want to leave his seat. The whole thing felt a bit eerie.

The bell above the entrance chimed and Rhett saw Link making his way to where he sat, not even waiting for a waiter to seat him. “Hey.” Link smiled and he’d almost reached Rhett’s table when a waitress rushed out from behind the counter and called out for him.

“Excuse me, sir! Sir, two parties from different households are not allowed to meet! I’m afraid you’ll have to sit on separate tables.”

“Oh no, really? But-”

“Sorry, these are the rules.” She crossed her arms and looked expectantly at Link.

Rhett was about to apologise to the waitress and just break off their coffee date when he noticed the sly smile on Link’s face. _Oh no._ He shook his head to signal Link that this wasn’t worth it, he wouldn’t put on another show just to have a damn cup of coffee; but it was too late, his friend had already turned to the waitress.

“I beg your pardon?” Link said in his best offended voice. 

“I said, as long as you don’t live in the same household you can’t-”

“And why, pray tell, shouldn’t _my husband_ here and I be living in the same household? Because men can’t marry, they can’t be in a lovin, committed relationship, right? Is it that?” It seemed that Link’s approach this time around was to cause a scene, and Rhett was afraid that he wasn’t going to like this scene, especially since Link’s posture and high-pitched voice implied that his friend was sort of channeling his inner drama queen.

The waitress looked confused. “No, I…”

  
“I can’t believe that after we had to fight prejudice and hatred all our life to be together, after we moved all the way to this city in order to celebrate our love the way we want, you come here and say we can’t be married?”

“But I never said-” the woman tried to protest, but Link didn’t listen.

“I know you city types, you pretend to be open and accepting but as soon as a gay man walks in you raise your eyebrows!”

“Link!” Rhett said, not sure if this was his character scolding his husband for causing a scene or if it was the real Rhett who couldn’t take this any longer. 

Link was definitely still in character, because he snipped his fingers dramatically and jutted his hip out in an entirely un-Link manner. “No, lambkins, I told you a hundred times that you have to stand up for yourself! You’re too nice.” He turned back to the waitress and the small crowd of employees and customers which had formed behind her. Rhett was sure they were all gaping at Link’s little show, though it was hard to tell with the masks they were wearing.

“Listen up, missy, do you have any idea how hard it is to grow up in the country and then to realise you’re in love with another boy? Do you know how much pain it causes to go to bible school with indecent thoughts about your friend in your head and listen to the pastor say that gays will go to hell?”

 _Yes_ , Rhett thought. _Yes, I know._ He was aware that this was all just a bit of fun for Link, the finger wagging, the over-the-top flamboyance; but his words cut deeply into the parts of Rhett’s heart he’d thought he’d never have to feel again. Rhett just wanted it to stop.

“… so if you’ll pardon me, I’m gonna sit down right here and have a cup of coffee with my sweetheart, all right!?”

Apparently Link had finished his monologue now, because he shot the poor waitress a last wrathful glance and sat down opposite Rhett. He turned around to see if the woman was out of earshot and smiled cheekily at his friend. “How was that, huh?”

“Um, embarrassing? Unnecessary? Very weird?” Rhett replied, refusing to smile back. _A little to close to the truth?_

“Come on, that was great improv! And look, we can have coffee together! How about a little gratitude?” Link swatted his arm and popped the complementary biscuit from Rhett’s drink into his mouth.

Rhett just shook his head and they dropped the topic. They drank something, talked for a while and then left the coffee shop, Link taking Rhett’s hand on the way out and sticking his tongue out at the waitress behind the counter.

To Rhett’s disappointment their hand holding didn’t last very long, because Link let go of him as soon as they reached his car on the other side of the road. 

“So, I’ll call you then, I guess.” Link seemed completely unfazed by what he’d done in the coffee shop. Rhett however had an uneasy feeling about the whole incident, considering this was the second time within two weeks that Link had pulled this trick. “The fake marriage thing… This won’t become a habit, right?”

His concerned gaze was met with a cheerful smile. “Of course not, _sweetie_.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suppose this is a thing now.
> 
> Enjoy?

Rhett was not excited at the prospect of visiting a spa; he just didn’t like spas. Of course there was nothing wrong with getting a massage or taking a steam in a sauna, but whether it was the potential nudity or the close proximity to a bunch of strangers, something about these establishments made him feel uneasy.

However when Link had called and practically begged him to accompany him on a spa trip, because apparently it was ‘no fun’ to go alone, he couldn’t say no. Of course he couldn’t.

Rhett found his friend at the reception of the fancy place Link had picked, already chatting with an elderly man behind the counter. Link waved him over with an excited grin. “Hi, Rhett!”

“Hey man” he greeted and smiled at the receptionist who nodded back and handed them a brochure. 

“Gentlemen, these are the options available tonight. You can choose between separate applications to create an individual treatment or you can choose one of our prepared packages.” A phone went off behind the counter. “One second, I’ll be back” the receptionist said and turned away to answer the call.

Rhett took the brochure and studied the options. “Man, this is pretty pricey.”   
Link looked up. If the incident with the fine during quarantine was any indication, Link didn’t like to spend money.

“What do you mean, pricey?”

Rhett showed him the list of treatments. “Well, even if we choose the basic package, that’ll be over a hundred dollars.”

Link frowned. “Why don’t we take this Superior Comfort thingy? One bath with aromatic oils, a hot stone massage and twenty minutes in the sauna, drinks included. It’s for two people, so we’d only pay seventy five each.”

Rhett wasn’t convinced, but Link poked him in the side and smiled. “Come on, Rhett, it’s cheap, and I bet the massage will be great for your shoulder.”

“Okay, fine.” Rhett wondered if he’d ever stop doing things just because Link asked for them. The receptionist returned and Link handed the brochure back. 

“We’ll take the Superior Comfort for two please.”

The man raised his eyebrows and his gaze flitted between the both of them. “Um, are you sure?”

“Pretty sure, yeah.” Rhett hated it when his decisions were questioned by service employees.

“Okay, then please follow the signs to the changing rooms, your first application will be prepared in the bath area behind the main pool.”

They quickly changed into the white shorts and robes which were provided by the spa and made their way to the bathing rooms. All the treatment rooms were full, because apparently weekend nights were the best time to get slapped in the face with birch twigs (Rhett was suddenly glad they were too cheap to get the Finnish package).

An employee led them into a small separate room that was filled with sweet-smelling, aromatic vapour. Rhett had to blink a few times when the thick mist coming from the bathtub hit him.

The bathtub. The big, oval, _single_ bathtub in the middle of the room. 

“Um…” Rhett turned to the employee who was busy laying out towels and different oils. “Where’s the other bathtub?” he asked.

“Which other bathtub? This one’s really spacious, it should fit you both even though you’re so tall.” The woman winked, before she suddenly frowned. “You did book the Superior Comfort couple treatment, didn’t you?”

Rhett looked at Link who seemed as baffled as he was. _Couple treatment_? he mouthed at his friend. Link shrugged as if to say ‘I had no idea’. Great. Rhett was sure they could explain the misunderstanding and just book another package, but Link was already talking to the employee.

“Yeah, sure! I bet my boyfriend just wanted to check if it was really big enough for his tall-ass frame, right sweetie?”

The woman nodded. “Yes, you should definitely fit in there. It’s recommended to stay in the water for at least twenty minutes, in order for the oils to take effect. I’ll be back in half an hour. Have fun!” She winked again and left.

Rhett glared at Link. “Again, Link? Was that really necessary?”

“What’s your problem, man? This is the cheapest package, and it won’t kill us to share a freaking bathtub.”

“But…” Rhett didn’t know how to explain it to Link without revealing the true reason behind his objections. 

“Don’t be such a prude, Rhett.Come on, this thing is huge, we don’t have to touch in any way.”

Link stepped out of his robe, thankfully leaving the shorts on. He climbed into the tub and leaned back with a contented sigh. “Mh, this is fantastic!”

In the end Rhett’s sore muscles were bugging him more than his embarrassment, and he followed his friend into the warm water. It did feel good, and the tub was big enough to accommodate them both without too much awkward skin contact. The aromatic scents were relaxing, and Rhett had almost forgotten that he was _actually_ taking a bath with Link when he noticed something soft and flaky floating on the water surface.

“Link? What is this stuff?”

Link opened his eyes and looked down at the water. “Oh, look, it’s rose petals” he giggled. “Nice!”

Rhett felt himself blushing. “That’s not funny, man!”

“It kind of is. Look at us taking a bath together, dim lights, music, flowers… If we were a real couple, this setting would be pretty hot.” Link spread his arms around the edge of the tub and smirked. 

“Shut up, Link.” Rhett’s face was probably deep red now. This was bad enough without Link putting images in his head.

“Oh, what I would do to you if this was real…” Link teased, his voice playful. Rhett knew that Link didn’t mean to hurt him, but that didn’t necessarily soothe the sting. Suddenly, there was a toe brushing against his leg in the water and he jerked back.

“What the heck! Don’t!”

Link just chuckled and closed his eyes again. “Just relax, man. I won’t devour you, I’m way to sleepy.”

——

When their time was up the employee returned to bring them to their next treatment. Before she stepped inside, she knocked on the door several times with a purposiveness that suggested that she was used to customers getting a bit too comfortable with each other in the couple bathtub. The thought made Rhett’s cheeks burn again.

“It’s time for your massage, gentlemen! Just step out and follow me.” 

Link immediately stood up in the tub, and Rhett suddenly found himself on eye level with his friend’s crotch. The wet cotton of the spa shorts was almost see-through and Rhett quickly looked away.

He stood as well and hurried to wrap the robe around himself. The woman and Link were already on their way out.

“Your sweetheart’s the shy type, huh?” she said with a smile. 

Link turned around to wink at Rhett. “Definitely. Sometimes it’s almost like he doesn’t want people to know we’re together.”

Rhett’s chest tightened impossibly. When had Link become such a good liar?

The employee was leading them into another separate room with massage tables. “That’s a shame” she said. “You’re a sweet couple, and that’s coming from a Christian woman.”

Oh, great. Now they were tricking strangers into turning gay friendly. Rhett sighed. All he’d wanted was a fucking shoulder rub.

“I’m afraid you’ll have to wait for a few minutes here. There’s champagne in the cooler over there.” 

She left once more and Link turned to look at Rhett. “Champagne, man! How is this the freaking cheapest option here?” He got the bottle and poured two glasses for them. He must’ve noticed Rhett’s scowl because he nudged his shoulder and sat down next to him on the massage table. 

“Why aren’t you enjoying yourself?”

Rhett shrugged, not willing to say how much he hated this pretending. How much he wanted to take advantage of this romantic setting and kiss his friend breathless on this table, wanted to take his robe off and explore what he’d seen through Link’s wet shorts earlier.

“‘M not in the mood for this” he mumbled.

“Well, I hope the massage will relax you a bit. I thought this would be fun, you know.” Link slapped Rhett’s thigh and smiled at the masseuse who stepped into the room in that moment. He didn’t see Rhett wince at the sudden contact. To Rhett it felt like Link wasn’t seeing a lot of things lately.

When their massages and their sauna visit were over (both thankfully without any further romantic gadgets) they got dressed and went to the reception to pay. 

Of course, Link couldn’t resist picking up Rhett’s part of the bill with a loud “I got this, cutie” that made Rhett roll his eyes. Their receptionist from earlier tutted, and Rhett suddenly realised why the guy had tried to prevent them from booking the treatment for two. Naturally he must have known that it was a couple package.

Link must’ve noticed it too, because Rhett could see that he was one breath away from starting the monologue he’d performed in the coffee shop all over again.

He quickly grabbed Link’s arm and dragged him outside. Link didn’t protest. Instead, when they had reached his car, he suddenly pulled Rhett into a tight hug.

“Thank you, man. I really needed that.” He chuckled. “Okay, maybe not the rose petals, but the rest was nice, wasn’t it?”

Rhett didn’t listen, he was too busy taking advantage of Link’s arms around his waist, breathing in the scent of essential oils which still lingered on his friend’s skin. Now that he knew that Link was hugging him because he wanted to, and not because he was trying to convince some stranger they were a couple, Rhett really enjoyed the touch.

“Hey, let go, dude! You’re squishing me.”

Rhett quickly pulled back. “So, um, we’ll see each other tomorrow, right?”

Link turned around and replied over his shoulder, already walking away. “Yeah, sure! Nightie night, fake boyfriend!”

Of course, _fake_.

Rhett was starting to hate that word.


	4. Kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter of this story.
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who read, commented and gave kudos! I appreciate it very much.

  
The mall was crowded, many people taking advantage of the relaxing of the virus regulations which allowed them to visit the stores again. If he hadn’t been on a shopping tour himself, Rhett would’ve been irritated about the fact that everyone was carelessly running to the mall while the danger of infection still existed.

At least Link and he had a valid excuse to visit a clothing store; they needed to coordinate some outfits for work and didn’t want to order all the stuff home just to try it on and send it back. They were standing in line, waiting to be allowed into the store. 

Every shop had a security guy in front of the doors who let the customers in one by one, and of course everyone was still wearing masks. 

“I think we’ll have to separate, man,” Rhett said as he watched another person go in. “They only allow two people at one time in the store, and you have to leave after twenty minutes. So we have ten minutes max together.”

Link groaned. “But we have to decide this together! I don’t wanna get blamed when I pick the wrong stuff.”

Rhett shrugged. They were almost at the beginning of the line now, only a man and a woman in front of them. The pair said something to the security guard and all three laughed. When the guard opened the cordon the next time, he winked and let both of them through.

Rhett raised his eyebrows at Link who grinned back. He turned around and approached the security guy.

“Excuse me, um, could we go in together too? We need…”

The guard shook his head. “Only one person at a time.”

“But you just let that couple enter together,” Link tried to argue. If this guy could be lax with the rules for those two, why couldn’t he make an exception for Rhett and him?

“That couple was married.” The security guard crossed his arms and looked Link up and down. With a sneer he added: “No special treatment for fags.”

Rhett’s breath hitched in his throat, less because of the man’s words and more because of Link’s inevitable reaction to them.

His friend puffed up and opened his mouth, eyes sparkling with rage. “What was that?” he asked in a low, threatening voice.

The security guy didn’t look intimated though, instead he smirked even more and replied “ I said you and Rapunzel will have to separate, nancy, ‘cause I only let real couples in.”

By pure instinct Rhett’s fingers went up to touch his hair. He had to admit that it had gotten rather long, but Link had said that he liked it. He thought about the way Link’s fingers had combed through the locks when he’d noticed how much Rhett’s hair had grown a few weeks ago, and he almost missed Link’s next words.

“Two men can be a real couple, jerk!”

Rhett knew where this discussion was heading, and he couldn’t help closing his eyes for a second. He was so tired of Link’s games. “Link, _please_.”

Link ignored him and kept staring at the security guy. The people in line behind them started to mumble and shuffle their feet.

“Sorry, man, two men aren’t a couple. Just ‘cause you fuck that guy don’t mean you get the right to call yourself that, that’s not how the Lord wants it.”

Link’s face was bright red. Rhett wondered why he was so bothered by the guard’s stupid opinions. Sure, homophobia was awful, but why should Link care? He wasn’t gay. It wasn’t his place to fight this battle, was it?

“Gay men don’t just _fuck_ , okay!” Link was close to shouting, and the other mall visitors around them were beginning to turn their heads. Their eyes on him and Link made Rhett blush. “They live together and they laugh and cry together, they kiss and they hold hands. They _love_ each other, and I can assure you, prick, that you’ll never love any woman as much as I love Rhett!”

  
 _I love Rhett_. It wasn’t “I love my husband” or “I love my sweetie”. These words would have been meaningless, deniable, because Rhett wasn’t actually Link’s husband. “I love Rhett” however was just that. Just Link saying that he loved him. Rhett’s head was spinning with the possibilities of that sentence.

“You know what? I’m gonna show you real love” Link spat and he yanked his face mask down before he turned around and removed Rhett’s mask with a force that startled Rhett. Before he had a chance to react, his friend had grabbed the back of his neck and put his lips on Rhett’s. 

It wasn’t just a small peck. No, apparently Link planned on putting a show on for the people, because he buried his fingers in Rhett’s hair and opened his lips. This wasn’t what Rhett wanted. He didn’t want to be kissed for effect; he didn’t want strangers in a shopping mall gawking at him while his heart was breaking beyond repair. 

He pulled back and Link immediately turned away from him to give the dumbfounded security guard a smug grin.

“No.” Rhett grabbed Link’s shoulder and forced him to look at him. 

“What?” Link asked. _Yeah, what Rhett?_

“You… you fucking asshole,” was all Rhett managed to blurt out before he took a few steps back and started to run, away from the stares and away from Link.

“What- Rhett! Hey, wait!” Link followed Rhett as he fled out of the mall and into a nearby park. After a few minutes Rhett gave up, knowing that he’d eventually have to stop running from his friend. He stopped and leaned back against a tree, eyes closed.

“Rhett! What’s gotten into you?” Link’s voice was almost angry as. He approached the tree.

Rhett shook his head. How could Link be so incredibly inconsiderate?

“Fuck off.”

“Hey, stop it. What’s wrong with you, man?”

“You really don’t get it, do you? You really think what you do is okay, don’t you? Well, let me tell you something, Link. It isn’t. You can’t just use me for your games because you think it’s funny. You can’t just make jokes about my feelings and you don’t _get to kiss me as a fucking joke_!” Rhett’s hand connected with the tree behind him and the rough bark scraped along his skin, ripping it open. Link stared at him, wide eyed. When he spoke, his voice was small and sad.

“You think I’m using you?”

“What do you think you’re doing? You’re doing the Link-show, and I’m your favourite prop.” Rhett felt tears stinging in his eyes, and he couldn’t tell whether they were caused by the pain in his bleeding hand or from the ache in his heart. “I have feelings, man. Feelings for you. And it fucking hurts to see you making fun of me this way.”

Link was quiet for a few moments before he replied. “Have… have you ever thought about why I like to pretend you’re my husband? Why I said all these things about loving you, and the stuff about being afraid to tell you for so long?” He took a step towards Rhett. “I do that ‘cause it’s the only way I can say them. Because I just need an excuse to kiss you, and I know you wouldn’t let me kiss you without pretence, would you?”

  
All the anger and frustration left Rhett’s body in a single, long exhale. This couldn’t be. “You’re lyin’. Don’t lie to me,” he said and his voice broke as he spoke. Why would Link lie to him and torture him like that? Whatever act this was, it was the most cruel thing Link had done so far.

“I’m not lying, Rhett. For god’s sake, why would I do that? I love you. I really, honestly do, and if you don’t feel the same, well, I don’t have the strength to care anymore.” Link shook his head, taking a few steps back again. “I’m so fucking tired of pretending.” 

There it was again. _I love you_. Three words Rhett hadn’t dared to believe before. But now L was standing in front of him, saying it to him and only him, with no one around to put on a show for; and the heartbroken look on his friend’s face told him that it was true.

“You love me? You wanna kiss me, for… for real?” he asked, just to make sure. 

“Yes, dumbass. I didn’t pretend to be your boyfriend because I don’t want to be with you. To be honest, I thought you were the one who was disgusted at the very thought of us being together, the way you acted offended every time I did my trick. I was convinced that you were embarrassed to be mistaken as gay.”

“I’d never be embarrassed about that.” R said. “I _am_ gay, Link. And I would be so proud to be your boyfriend. I’d run back into that mall and make a loudspeaker announcement so everyone would know.”

Link smiled brightly. “I’d like that. Tell everyone that I love you.”

“Can I kiss you first?”

Link took another step forward and Rhett did the same to meet him in the middle. And this, this was how he wanted to be kissed by Link. Just the two of them; no strange eyes watching. They broke apart and R struggled to catch his breath. 

Link spoke up first. “Gosh, we’re so stupid, aren’t we? How can two grown men be so stupid? I’ve pretended to be your boyfriend for weeks just to have an excuse to call you ‘sweetie’, how immature is that?” He laughed and it sounded both sad and amused. “If we’d only talked before…”

Rhett shook his head. That didn’t matter now. “We’re here now, right? We might’ve taken the scenic route, but we got to the right place in the end” he said and kissed Link again. It was earth-shattering that he could do that now. After months, years of staring at those lips and longing to touch them, all he had to do was tilt his head down and Link smiled and kissed him back. 

“You didn’t say it back.”

Rhett stared down at Link and frowned. “Huh?”

“I said I love you! Don’t you wanna say it back, _sweetie_?”

Rhett thought back to that evening when Link had said the same thing in front of the spa. He’d been so sad when Link had called him sweetie, thinking he’d never mean it as anything more than a joke. Now it was the most beautiful word in the world.

“I love you too, sweetie.”

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr: @cryo-girl


End file.
